Blue Jobs

The shampoo was purchased amidst the guffaws of the salon staff.

I could barely hear the instructions that the hairdresser was giving me above all the laughter and guffaws from the rest of the hairdressers. I went to the hairdressers to seek comfort and support (and blue shampoo), but instead I was met with judgement and pointing fingers. I was on the salon version of Jeremy Kyle. The hairdresser who dealt with me had amazing Hollywood hair of course. She asked me, ‘what direction exactly were you hoping for with your hair colour?’. Well, I thought, I would like to not be yellow or bald, is that directional enough for you? With shampoo in hand, I felt triumphant and I made my way home.

The shampoo was blue, there was no denying that. As was my bathroom. All for the greater good, I thought, as I massaged the shampoo into my hair furiously and determined. Recalling – and ignoring –  the advice that the hairdresser had passed onto me (not to leave the shampoo on too long), I sat on the toilet lid, shampoo in my hair, waiting for the BIG transformation. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. My hair was starting to go hard and crispy. Common sense (!) prevailed and I decided to wash it off. I was excited to see the new me. The new ash blonde me.

As I blow-dried my hair, my ash-blonde expectations also seem to be evaporating as quickly as the water on my head. Was my hair…blue? After a full examination in every room of the house (didn’t take long, I live in 3 rooms), I concluded that yes, I was indeed the owner of blue hair. I had literally had a blue rinse, 60 years too soon.

A few weeks later, my hair has now returned to a less radioactive colour and as I look back on ‘hair-gate’, I think about how silly it all was and something that you do when you’re young – if I ignore the fact that I am 28 and it only happened last month.  I vow to myself that I will never take my own hair into my own hands again. Unfortunately, I am now starting to notice some pretty dark roots coming through. Pass me the bleach…


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